I have had many conversations over the years regarding the “shadow side” of myself and others. Some of those conversations turned into heated arguments that included finger pointing and name calling. Yes, I am dead serious. But looking back, I can easily see that it was in the way that the term was used that caused those arguments, not the actual meaning behind it.
Back in the day (about ten years ago), it was almost en vogue to throw the term around at each other. It was everywhere, being repeated by those who could barely wrap their head around the idea, yet alone truly understand it.
Person A: Wow, that waiter is really unhappy. Did you see how rude he was to me? He barely acknowledged me when he took my order and didn’t smile at all.
Person B: Are you sure that it isn’t your shadow side talking?
Person A: I don’t understand. What do you mean?
Person B: Well, you tend to be dismissive with people you don’t know. In some cases, you come off as unfriendly. Maybe this is your shadow side trying to reflect back to you what you need to work on in yourself.
Unfortunately, it was an easy way to point out a person’s pitfalls and shortcomings. So instead of being brave enough to have a non-threatening conversation, you just called out their shadow side and let them sit and stew in it. How was that healthy or proactive? It wasn’t. In fact, it was hurtful and mean.
Over several classes, one of my mentors opened my eyes to the shadow parts of myself as they applied to my Astrological patterns and archetypes. Thankfully, he wasn’t finger pointing, he just gently led us to those places within our Natal Chart. The rest was in our hands to identify, acknowledge, and work on moving forward.
But it wasn’t until I read an explanation channeled by my good friend and Intuitive Counselor Jackie Osborne, that I really understood our shadow side. Jackie is part owner of The Open Spirit in Nyack, New York.
In the explanation given to Jackie by her guides, they make it clear that our shadow sides are just parts of ourselves, parts of the whole. They are parts that are hidden to ourselves due to conditioning from our outside experiences. Does this make them right or wrong? Neither. It just means that they are parts of us that we created through our experiences in this life. They ARE us.
We all have what can be considered good and bad habits or traits. That is part of life, that is part of living, that is part of being human. Through these different sides of ourselves we learn and grow. We have to have some bad traits in order to understand what is good. In the opposite view, we have to have good traits in order to understand what is bad. Both feel different within and outside of ourselves. Remember, this journey in life is all about learning.
Like many others, I have spent my time beating myself up over my shadow side issues. Now, I will just acknowledge and realize that they are one of the many things about myself that I will continue to work on in this lifetime.
Huge Hugs to you and your shadow sides!
Jackie: What is the shadow part of oneself?
That which one does not want to see or acknowledge of himself. It is not outside you, but within you. It is that one does not want to see or feel.
Jackie: How was it created and why are we so scared to see it?
It was created by the world of conditioning. It is not wanted to be seen because it is not who you know to truly be as a soul, as a spirit. It is the non-acceptance of it in the world of spirit, but much needed for expansion.
Jackie: How could I understand and learn how to accept my shadow side?
Let’s first try to understand the shadow side of humanity: It is one that is resistant to the purpose of life. It is one who wishes to live in this consciousness with one consciousness where two is the rule for the expansion of that one consciousness.
Jackie: Ok, that is strange to me.
And so it is. So what is duality? One that has been created by self. One that is part of the whole. One that must be loved and respected as the other.
Jackie: So how do I do that?
By peace of knowledge and understanding of what it is. By understanding that it was created by you and so it is part of you and just as you wish to honor that part of you, which you may feel better and more comfortable with, you treat the other side equally. You honor, pray, and meditate with it. Creating the whole in unity and peace. Creating the whole as one.